Two Big Alien Heads are Better Than One
by Anti-Carly
Summary: Zim is being forced to work with an alien cousin in taking over the Earth.  Both hate and irritate each other to no end.  Will low levels of emotion combined with human affection rub onto the two aliens creating a growing love between the two?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, Invader Zim has brought back memories in recently connecting with it again. A genius, good old-fashioned cartoon. I will be using my OC. Her name is Zade, a Vexan, I will explain that later. She has resembles the Irkens, but she has red skin and sapphire eyes. She is as essential and as arrogant as Zim is, matching him. And she stands as tall as Zim. Hope you approve and like. :D**

Only a few years later had Zim been on Earth and The Tallest have recognized a use in Zim's mission. In his base Zim is being contacted by the Tallest.

Red, "Zim!"

Zim salutes, "Yes SIR!"

Red, "Your mission has finally become useful to us."

Purple, "And we recommend you for your duty."

Zim slightly bows, "Anything to help the high Irk-"

Red interrupting his soon to be long speech, "However! We have decided to send you assistance."

Zim ponders, "Hmm emm errm."

Purple, "So we'll be sending you migrant Zade, she is from our cousin planet Vexan."

Zim, "WHAAAT! A _slimy_ Vexan, I thought Irkens and Vexans were-"

Red, "We've become allies since both or our intentions upon the universe are similar, combining our workings with theirs will prove more powerful and effective."

Zim, "I dare not allow such a _filthy_ being aide in MY assignment!"

Purple hastily, "Too bad you have no choice, signing off." They

disappeared off his screen.

Zim, "I don't believe this! GIR! Don't let anyone you see in or around MY Base!"

GIR, "Okie Dooookie!"

GIR runs to the window peeks outside to see a human female walking up the path. He opened the door and said, "Helllooooo!" It was a girl, tan hair, blue eyes, yellow sundress.

Girl, "Are you GIR?"

GIR, "That's me! Watch me dance like a monkey!"

Girl uninterested, looking around, "Yeah that's great, now where's Zim!"

GIR shouted, "Master your Girly friend is here!" Zim runs in.

Zim, "GIR! I told you to not let anyone IN my BASE!"

Then the human girl image disintegrated and revealed a red alien, her form was much like an Irken. Her eyes were sapphire and her antennae were shaped into lightning bolts. Her uniform was much like an Irken's but it had long sleeves and was cobalt blue, she had claws on hands and feet, she had silver boots and silver fingerless gloves.

Zim, "So YOU must be migrant Zade!"

Zade, "YES! I am the awesome Migrant Zade. And I've come here to put into motion the mission to OVERCOME Earth."

Zim, "What do you mean 'put into motion'? My mission is currently in the process."

Zade accused, "In process, it seems as if you've accomplished nothing."

Zim, "NOT TRUE! I've… uh…destroyed all the plastic flamingo factories!"

Zade mockingly, "What an accomplishment honorable _invader_."

Zim, "Be quiet Vexan! Or I'll…(Looks around) I'll beat you with GIR!"

He held GIR as a shield. Suddenly Zade's necklace formed into a robot. It had a triangle torso and wire like arms and legs. Its eye color was a dark green.

GIR, "oooo pretty rowbot!"

Zade scowled at him, "This ISN'T a ro-bot. It's a D.R.O.N.E."

Zim, "What's a D.R.O.N.E?"

Zade with skeptical eyes, "A D.R.O.N.E is a Destructive Rational Obedient Nano Electroid. I hypothesize that a D.R.O.N.E equals to SIRs on your planet."

Zim with questionable, defensive eyes asked, "And what do you call this D.R.O.N.E?"

Zade, "I call him Dagger."

Zim, "LAME!"

Zade, "Oh and GIR is a-, never mind, we must stop dilly dallying and continue on with this assignment."

Both that night slept far apart from one another and ignored each other's existence as they arrived at Skool. Both sat on opposite ends of one another inside the classroom. Dib approached Zade.

Dib, "Hi I'm Dib."

Zade, "And I'M Zade, nice to meet your existence human Dib."

Dib, "What is your relation with Zim, are you an alien?"

Zade feeling cornered replied, "ME an _alien_, you joke, I'M much like you humanoids, I'm normal no NEED to be suspicious!"

Dib gave her a questionable look, then Ms. Bitters slithered in.

Ms. Bitters hissed, "Dib, sit in your seat. Oh and class we have a new student, her name is Zade." All eyes turned towards the back of the classroom.

Zade nervously, "Hello fellow humanoid classmates, I'm a normal worm just like you, no _need_ to stare."

Ms. Bitters, "Now today I've discovered that Earth as much like any planet is doomed to dieing and withering off. Doomed!"

Later, it seemed like days before the bell rings for lunch. Zade grabs her lunch not after shoving Zim into a trashcan and she finds an empty table. A passing kid trips and spills milk on Zade. It starts to burn.

She screams, "Ahhhh! PUTRID filthy human crap! IT BURNS!"

She runs out the window splashing in a pond, then returns inisde. Zim was now seated at the table.

Zim, "HA, I almost forgot, Vexans are _allergic_ to dairy as I'm allergic to water and meat, ha ha!"

Dib across the lunchroom saw this event and found it very suspicious. He went to go see what's up with the two.


	2. Down in the Base

Dib, "What was that all about Zade?"

Zade, "Uh…uh…I'm lactose intolerant, that's it!"

Zim jumped up on his seat and shouted, "LEAVE NOW human worm or I'll…pelt you with plastic _spoons_!"

Dib rolled his eyes and smirked, "You probably don't even know what plastic spoons are."

Zim started to sweat, "Uh, look big foot!"

Dib, "You see him too? Where!"

He looks every which way. Zim grabbed Zade's arm and yanked her out of the lunchroom. He led her into a dimly lit room.

Zade, "Nice going big head, _I_ could've handled the situation better than YOU!"

Zim, "OH and climbing out a window and splashing around like a _fat_ PIG in a near by pond is human LIKE!"

Suddenly the lights brightened and there stood dozens of crazed kids armed with doge balls.

Zim, "WHAT are you staring At? Can't you see the mighty ZIM is in an ARGUMENT!"

A whistle broke the sound barrier and dodge balls were launched at the two targets.

Zim covering his head, "Don't just stand there, RUN for your miserable LIFE!"

After a few miles of aimlessly running they lost the herd of nut balls. So they started for home. Both arrived inside with dented faces and burning holes in their uniforms.

GIR, "Yay! Swiss Cheese!"

"GIR", Zim shouted.

GIR turned red in salute, "Yes master."

Zim, "Guard the house as I go down into the base, oh and keep Zade occupied."

Zade, "HOLD it, globbering pile of moose goo, I have a right to see our base too."

Zim, "OUR base?" Zade, "Yes our base, I live her too and this is also my mission."

Zim, "Grrrrrrrrrr, FINE! You may come with ME."

Zade, "Dagger!"

Her D.R.O.N.E came from a near by room saluting. "Yes my master", his voice sounded deep and thick with a robotic tone.

Zade, "Annihilate any interlopers, and keep GIR in your sight make sure he doesn't harm anything."

Zim defended, "HEY! GIR is perfectly capable of- actually no, he should be watched at all times."

Both entered down to the Base. After many shovings and pushings down the elevator tube they arrived in the Base.

Zim, "Ok, don't break anything or touch anything, or I'll rip you into pieces and feed you to the squirrels."

Zade, "Yeah, yeah sure."

Zim pushed a bunch of buttons and knobs and what not. Until the lights went off and red lights flashed.

Zim directed/shouted, "NO! NO! NO! Zade, quickly out of the Base!"

Both dashed for the exit but it became locked. Then water started to flood the Base.

Zim, "AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim shot up towards the ceiling.

Zim, "ZADE! Quickly, push the drain button over there!

Zade smirked, "I'm sorry, I thought I was told to _not_ touch anything."

Zim, "Wha? That was a lie! You can touch anything you want, just SAVE ME!"

Zade, "And I am allowed access inside the base any time given?" Zim, "Fine!"

Zade, "Ok."

She pressed the drainage button and the plug came out from the floor. The water disappeared and Zim scurried down to the floor. Both went back up to the house. To only see Dagger holding down GIR.

GIR, "C'mon! Give me a hug!"

Zade commanded, "Dagger, at ease." Dagger climbed off of GIR.

GIR, "Master your back."

Zim rolled his eyes, "Of course GIR, I never left to begin with."

Zade teased, "Glad I was down there to save your Irken butt aren't ya?"

Zim, "Of course not, ZIM can find his way out of _any_ situation given."

Zade, "Really?"

Zim is shown with his head jammed into the toilet and struggles to break free. Zim, "Ok, I stand corrected. Zade!"


	3. An Arranged Relationship of Doom!

At school Dib had a slideshow of how Zim was an alien and what not.

Dib, "And, and this is why Zim is an alien, his weird behavior, his odd look his, his…"

Zita interrupting him, "Dib you are crazy, stalking and putting Zim down for the way he looks and acts, shame on YOU!" All the class chimed in and threw books and shelves at him.

Dib, "NAHAAH!" He was buried underneath.

Ms. Bitters, "Get up Dib and get back to your seat before I get the spiders again."

Dib, "No anything but that!" He dashed back to his seat.

Ms. Bitters, "Now today I expected everyone to give in their oral reports on the future of this planet. Zim!" She pointed at him.

Zim, "Yes Commander!"

Ms. Bitters, "Come up here and present us with your report."

Zim slowly marched up to the front and cleared his throat.

Zim, "In the future of this planet I will rule over you filthy hyoomuns! I will execute anyone who objects. I'd be the highest and proudest Invader in the eyes of the Tallest and you will all bow down to ZIM!"

Dib slaps his head, "Oh come on!"

Ms. Bitters, "Very well Zim that gets a B+." _(Riiiiing)_

Everyone scrambled out the door leaving Dib, Zim, and Zade. Dib walked over to Zim.

Dib, "I know your secret Zim and I will destroy you if it is the last thing I ever do!"

Zade then lifted Dib up and threw him out the window. Dib, 'Owwwwahhh, my head!"

Zade, "Way to go shtimpp mongrale you almost blew our cover!" She slapped him.

Zim, "Ay! I didn't do anything! I thought that report was gold."

Zade, "Come on we need to get to lunch!" She dragged him by his hair, actually by his antennae.

Zim, "Ow ow ow, Zade!"

After skool was over they started to walk home but then it started to snow.

Zim, "Haauugh? What is this white powder of doom?"

Zade pulled out a pad and took a sample of it.

Zade, "It is called snow, a piece of frozen water."

Zim, "Well it doesn't bur…OOOWWW!"

Zade smiling, "It also says it melts quickly."

Zim starting running but Zade chased after him shooting him with snowballs with a snowball gun.

Zim, "AHHHHHH! Where did you get a snow cannon?"

Zade blasting said, "Don't ask questions!" Finally they reached home.

GIR, "My wet master, HYYYAAA!" GIR jumped on Zim.

Zim, "Hello GIR."

He gently placed him back on the ground. Zim turned to Zade.

Zim, "We are supposed to be working together in destroying this stupid planet! Not shooting ME with Water!"

Zade smirked, "Snow."

Zim, "What ever!" He started to push her towards the base entrance.

Zim, "Come I have a plan to discuss."

The computer showed a tunnel diagram. Zim holding a stick explaining…

Zim, "As you see the weasels will dig to the planets waste source and start swimming in it, causing an uproar to take place opening a gate way so we can dunk all the humans in their own filth!"

Zade yawning, "And that's your brilliant plan?"

Zim breaking the stick, "WHAT! I don't see you coming up with any ingenious ideas!"

Zade, "Maybe we'll come up with one tomorrow in school, watching the Dib monkey make a clown of himself."

Zim calmed down, "Ok. We'll try that!"

Next day Zade and Zim were walking in the hallway.

Zade, "Wait there are weird designs all around us, of trees and colorful boxes and a fat red man."

Zim, "Ah yes a putrid HUman holiday called Christmas." They appear in front of their classroom.

Zade picked up Zim and threw him in side to see its safe for her to cross. She then started to walk in. Then an alarm went off and Zade nearly jumped out of her skin. Ms. Bitters slithered over.

Ms. Bitters, "I see you've been the 1st pick of the mistletoe arranger. The principle installed these so the children can show love and spread the holiday joy, I know its stupid."

Zade, "Come again?"

Ms. Bitters, "You will need to kiss a fellow classmate." She looks around and spots Zim, still on the floor.

Ms. Bitters, "Zim! Since you were the second to last person to arrive this morning you will kiss Zade!"

Zim, "Whaaa? Zim shows no affection to know ONE!"

Dib, "See he's an alien, they don't have human emotion like we do!"

Zade came over and whispered, "Just do it before our cover is blown, its only a kiss right?"

Zim growled and got up he turned to her, both glaring at one another until they both kissed. He then pushed her aside.

Zim, "See!"

A kid shouted, "Zim and Zade are dating now!"

Zim, "Huuh?"

Dib crossed his arms and smirked, "Yeah Zim or are you an alien and you can't be in a relationship?"

Zim, "Uh uh, No I am dating this lower being named Zade, I am HYOOMAN!" He then jumped into his seat.

Zade spitting and whipping her mouth returned to her seat.

At lunch the two sat together. Zim is holding a pad. Zade glaring at Zim asked…

Zade, "What are you researching?"

Zim, "This so called love and relationship. Here!" He read aloud. "It says a relationship is between two humans who love each other and shower one another with gifts and kind words and spend time together….sounds stupid."

Zade, "Well you got us into this!"

Zim, "ME-" Dib came over.

Dib, "Ha! Now you are forced to partake in a relationship, it's only a matter of time before you fall apart and you're revealed!"

Zade, "Leave us ALONE worm monkey or we'll feed you to pigs!"

Dib snickering, "Yeah whatever, have fun with your boyfriend Zade!"

Zade, "Grrrrrr, I HATE THIS!"

Zim, "OH AND I don't?"

Zade, "It doesn't matter we need a plan."

Zim, "Yes…I've got it! We'll explore this so called relationship and use it against them!"

Zade, "Good one!" They high five.

Zade, Embarrassed, "Uh ok, we should get back to class now."

Zim, "Uh, agreed."

After school was over we are shown to Dib's house.

Dib, "HHHHAAAAAA! I'll show those two, I'll destroy them with their own plan, I heard them talking about using their relationship against us, and now it's my turn. HHHAAAAAHAHHAHA!"


	4. Nightmare Scare Zim

Both marched silently into Zim's house not even accounting for the other's existence.

The only words spoken were to GIR and for him not to come down into his lab and bother him unless Zade begins spying or an emergency erupts.

She gave him a parting glare as she entered into her small riffraff of a bedroom.

Getting comfortable she slipped in the sheets wishing for sleep to come a brainwash her from today's horrific events.

However sleep eluded her and she thrashed violently in bed in a futile attempt to find sleep.

Finally after an hour of persistent pursuing, she tossed her sheets aside and went into the living room.

There she found GIR sitting quietly watching brain-turn-to-mush shows.

She angrily snatched up the remote and began flipping through the channels.

TV Announcer, "Have you found love in all the wrong places?"

With a grunt she changed it to the next.

Model, "This Christmas don't forget to meet your man under that mistletoe!"

In a more exasperated sigh to which soon became a loud cry of annoyance she flipped it to the next.

Voice, "Every Kiss beings with K!"

She threw the remote at the TV screaming at it in rage.

Zade, "I can't stand THIS!"

She ran toward the television set and rammed her fist through it breaking the screen and causing it to go black.

GIR sat in impending silence for all about five seconds until:

GIR, "…EEEhhehehheee DO IT AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN!"

Zade threw a pillow at his face which momentarily silenced his tirade, still GIR soon took up muffled screams of delight behind the pillow.

Stomping up the hidden passageway was Zim bursting in to shout at whoever was making so much noise.

Zim, "Will you please! I am tryin…WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PICTURE VISION SET!

GIR squealed in delight, "Miss red lady did it!

Zade, "Oh go to sleep already WILL YOU!"

GIR, "Nighty night then!"

He fell to the floor dead asleep.

Zim marched up to her face and threatened, "You will PAY for breaking my picture set!"

Zade spat in his face and jumped off the couch.

Zim soon began screaming as the saliva touched his skin.

Zade, "It's called a Television set Invader Idiot and calm DOWN you aren't burning!

Zim held his eyes dramatically still screaming in agony, "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!'

She came over and clenched his lips with her claws, "Be QUIET do you want the HYOOMANS to get suspicious?"

Zim glared at her and pushed her far from him roughly.

Zim, "I don't want to hear another word from you tonight! Now GET TO BED VEXAN FILTH!"

With that he disappeared into one of those secret tunnels that lead into his lab.

She stomped back to the couch and threw herself down to sleep.

Surprisingly she fell into sleep rather quickly compared to her still liveliness. Yet, if she thought her dreams would cause her to escape the way of today, it only proved to be the beginning.

She appeared in a garden at night under brilliant blazing stars. All around her danced children in fairy costumes, and happy, waltzing trees filled to meadow.

She glared all around her this creepy serene scene, growling at every firefly and cloud that came to touch her.

Zade, "Where am I? What in the name of VEX is going ON!"

She then heard a whistle sound in front of her awhich quickly snapped her attention down to see GIR standing there in a tuxedo holding flowers.

He was beckoning her to follow him. In confusion her feet began to move, subconsciously, and she grabbed the bouquet from him.

Her eyes hurt from the soon brightening radiance that so enraged her and her skin crawled from all the gayety that surrounded her.

Then through a brush of trees a clearing opened up to reveal Zim.

He was smiling, eerily, without malice, or any evil intent, but out of genuine emotions, which scared her beyond belief.

She stopped frozen in fear and stuck within her confusion.

She then felt GIR's hand wrap around hers and pull her close to Zim.

Panic began to flood and she quickly noticed something that added on to this horror. The tree leaves that brushed against her and hung in her face weren't regular oak or maple leaves, but they were…mistletoe!

Her eyes flashed down to where Zim stood, arms outstretched and lips formed for a kiss.

Zade fought against GIR's grip but soon found that she could not for the life of her break free.

Closer and closer did she come to Zim's lips, and with mere seconds away from their embrace she let out a horrified scream which jolted her awake.

In a sweat Zade was wide-awake and gasping from her nightmare that seemed all too real. She looked down at her feet to see GIR all curled up sucking his thumb in slumber.

She gasped and scrambled away from him.

She clutched her brain in utmost torture, she can't stay here, she can't continue this mission!

She leaped off the couch and broke into a sprint out the door and into the night to locate her ship and escape her impending doom of becoming in love with Zim.


End file.
